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The art of being lost

Ever since the horrible attacks of last week, I have felt a little more unsure of my place in the world.

Terrible though the methods may be, I think the terrorists have succeeded in highlighting what is wrong with the world, or more specifically, what is wrong in the middle-east. I am trying to resist according blame simply because someone's reputation needs to pay for what happened. But I can't help it. I see Blair and Bush, and I hate myself for succumbing to their devious diversions from what they did in Iraq and the rest of the middle-east. There is the matter of Israel and its long-standing and often illegal campaign to undermine the Palestinian people, which still forms a sore point in the hearts of muslims. I can't help but feel overwhelmed by hate. I hate myself for being a little less angry as time passes since the start of the war, when in truth I should have been a thousandfold angrier. I hate myself for losing my passion and my hate of injustice.

But I'm starting to remember and I'm sure many other do too. The only people who will not admit a link between Iraq and Thursday's attacks, are those who are afraid of Britain losing its victim status.

"We haven't buried our dead, and you're already pointing fingers," they say angrily.

It is not a matter of pointing fingers, as much as finally noticing the big flashing neon finger hovering over the heads of Bush and Blair. I am not saying that they should have been afraid of acting justly for fear of terrorist attacks. When the need for intervention is there, no confirmed democratic superpower can justify passivity. But the problem is that Bush and co went on a campaign with unjust intentions and on the back of shady politics. Saddam is gone and 'democracy' has been granted for the people of Iraq. Great, well done for the Coalition, but remember, that's not why the went to war. They didn't set out to liberate an oppressed people or to remove a tyrant from his stolen seat of power.

In Islam, one is judged by the intentions of one's actions. And the intention of this war was to pursue Saddam for his weapons of mass destruction and apparently his willingness to use them on the West. That was the intention, let's not forget that. Freedom and democracy happened to be a happy accident. And while we're at it, multi-billion contracts for US and UK firms could also be counted as such.

But Blair and his little friend won. When we saw Saddam cowering in his hole, who could argue against the war? Well many people could, but they were suddenly outvoiced by many who couldn't.

However, in the middle-east many could argue and still do. They are not restricted by patriotic attachments to the Coalition and as such are free to see the human cost of the war without feeling guilty. As I suppose, many of those who try to justify the war are feeling. The middle-east didn't forget, and those westerners with ties to the middle-east didn't forget either. Namely the muslims. A couple of years later, there were those whose hate of the illegal war - unlike mine - grew stronger and more fierce. And suddenly, a couple of young men who kept quiet about their hate until it consumed their hearts, felt they had no choice but to die and have many others die with them.

And once again I am overwhelmed by hate.

And I hate them for killing innocent people. I hate them for perverting the tenets of my faith for their purpose. I hate them for making life a little harder for muslims. But I also hate them for invalidating any argument against the war on the middle-east. I hate them for holding the same opinions as me, but differing so wildly from what one would have thought would bind us spiritually. I hate them for making our valid arguments so hollow and empty.

There is no excuse for what they have done. I cannot put much faith in the commonly held belief that these were angry young men who were radicalised or brainwashed by mad 'Imams'.

I don't believe people can be brainwashed so easily. These bombers had true faith in what they were doing, I am sure of it. No one wastes their life for the beliefs of others. I would say the potential for committing a crime of such a scale was always there, as indeed it is in all of us. Passion can drive a person to great many crimes, if fuelled properly. It would silly to deny it. I believe people are born essentially good, but also with the capacity to commit evil. But the potential for such evil acts - as has been proven two Thursdays ago - is greater in some than others. And whatever these radical imams did, it was little more than encouragement to tear away at good inside the person, in order that they may utilise the evil within them.

And it makes me sad. Sad to think that these young men - with their boundless passion - could have been formidable leaders against injustice in the middle-east. If only that passion had been channelled in a democratic and constructive way. Who knows if those names which we now hold in contempt, would have been ones we would now utter in respect.

So I am a little lost, I am gaining back my hate of Bush's imperialistic adventures and I have gained a deeper hate of those who commit mass murder and especially those who do so in the name of my faith. So I have plently of hate, the only problem is, what do I do with it?

All I know now is that - after all that has happened in the world - I can no longer do nothing.

masterfully reported by Xu Said @ 10:14 AM